Life after losing a friend

[Member ID2]

Life after losing a friend can take unexpected turns and we never quite know how we are going to respond.

We all know that we are going to miss our furry friends and that we will grieve and we also know that the clichè 'time's a good healer' is true.

I have lost a number of hamsters so should know what to expect but some things can take us by surprise.

My sense of fun seems to have died with Rodney.

I'm not saying that i've suddenly turned into a miserable old cow but Rodney had such a funny and engaging personality that he brought out the more humourous side of me.
If anybody would like to share their experiences, please feel free to do so.

 

[RainbowBrite]

I can really relate to this. I know you have all seen my post of Sophie, my late guinea pig. I miss her so badly. When I am sad I feel the loss even more as we spent so much time together and there was nothing better then cuddling her.

Rodney had such an amazing personality and he sounded like he was always up to something. It is understandable he leaves a big hole behind.

 

[Maz]

I'm so sorry Beryl - I think it's temporary. It was a part of your relationship with Rodney and all relationships bring out something in us. I think it's part of the grieving process - a sort of instinctive respect not to have too much fun. But to be different for a while. Also we can feel a bit numb for a while. It's good you have the other hamsters to look after and comfort you. Basically no other hamster will replace Rodney - they are all individual personalities. But one day another hamster will suddenly bring back that sense of fun - or it may come back all on its own. Christmas is a funny time as well with its ups and downs. I had a similar experience after Charlie went. I didn't think I would ever laugh again! A few months later, baby Newt had me laughing out loud. It was not the same relationship but he brought plenty of life back into the house. Maybe it's just too soon to have a sense of fun - and in the meantime you can just enjoy other things in a different way x

 

[elusive]

So sorry Beryl, it is a difficult time. I think after losing so many hamsters the only thing I know for sure is no matter what I think I’m never prepared & never know how I will feel, it’s always different which each little one & does often take us by surprise.

I think we all know that it will get easier but it never feels like it at the time, each little friend that leaves us takes a bit chunk of our lives with them & it does take time to adjust to that, one day when you’re ready your sense of fun will be back & you’ll know that Rodney’s spirit lives on within you.

Be kind to yourself & just remember that however we feel & however long it takes it’s ok to be that way while we grieve.

 

[Zara]

I think it’s all about taking time for yourself and your thoughts. Our pets become such a big part of our lives it’s very natural to feel a true sense of loss without them. Time is a healer but there is no time allocation to grief, it often comes in waves and it’s good to accept the bad days and not so bad days and in time the sad thoughts turn into more and more happier memories of the fun times. Take care.

 

[Member ID2]

It is therapeutic to share thoughts on difficult subjects like losing one of our furry friends with people who understand the gravity of it. Thank you.

I have this handpainted picture on wood of Rodney which i used as a keyring on my worksbag. Today the wood broke into two pieces and i was hugely upset about it.
Couldn't rest until i had salvaged it somehow.

I drove straight to a Hobbycraft to buy a small, deep picture frame and superglue. I glued the two pieces of wood together, adjusted the frame slightly with the Dremel sanding bit and painted the frame with the wall paint.

Now Rodney's painting is next to Henry's photo and they are both watching over hamster Bernard who is now living in the spot they used to live.

 

[Maz]

That is really lovely Beryl. Especially with the lights. So sorry the keyring broke but you have made something better out of it in the end. As someone said to me once - it really is just time.

 

[Member ID2]

I bought these lights for Henry who wasn't half as forward as our other Syrians. I used to watch Henry hamstering about with only the red fairy lights on.

 

[RainbowBrite]

Oh that is so beautiful! The lovely red frames with the lights look perfect. I am sorry the keyring broke though. I can understand how upsetting that must have been. It is lovely Henry and Rodney are watching over Bernard.

 

[elusive]

I can imagine how you felt when it broke Beryl but the final outcome looks so lovely, makes it really special to have them together like that.

 

[Member ID2]

I had a weird moment tonight. I sat in the hamster room when my OH came up the stairs asking who was out.
I said Clive and Jack. Clive is in the hall and Jack is in here. OH said, no it's not Jack and i said, yes he's in the playbox. Look. Then it dawned and i said, no it's....what's his name, oh yes, Otto.
I felt bad for Otto and made a fuss of him, not that he would have known.
A little later i was overcome by this sadness reflecting on Jack and all the hamsters we had shared our lives with.

 

[Maz]

Big hugs Beryl x It's not that long since Jack went to the Rainbow Bridge. I still get this sometimes, bizarrely even after years later. I called Pip "Nugget" recently and Nugget went to the rainbow bridge four years ago! I think it's that, at the moment, I have a a cream Syrian and a Robo - just as I did when I had Newt and Nugget. And had one of those alternative reality moments!

 

[elusive]

Moments like that can be hard I know, I find it comes in waves after they’ve gone, when you think you’re beginning to adjust to the loss it hits you again in unexpected ways, although they’re gone I always feel there’s something of them that always remains with us.
I had an odd moment yesterday too when I was stood by Gusto’s cage & began talking to him, he’s been gone since last September.

 

[Frida]

Sending you big hugs Beryl

 

[RainbowBrite]

I think that is totally understandable. When Orko first arrived I kept calling him the name of our late male guinea pig. I also felt bad.

You love Otto for who he is and there is no reason to feel bad. You lost Jack very recently and are still grieving. Otto is in his forever home now and has the best home possible.