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Funny things about humans-A thread for hamsters

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Albert: what a coincidence Lilly. My mum's got a best friend called cardboard too. There last name is tube.
 
The humans here do not ever look like they forage for food. They eat all their food out of bowls. I think that is lazy.
 
One of the humans here listens to boring stories that never mention seeds. Humans have a strange idea of fun.
 
Apparently humans clean their fur with something called shampoo. I dread to think what is in that judging by the name. Guess that explains why they smell so bad.
Ares: don't understand why they go and buy shampoo when real poo is free!
 
Lilly: humans are incredibly lazy. I watched Whiskers fetch a ladder to get into the loft because he was too lazy to climb on top of the bookcase and from there into the loft! The ladder had rungs! They are not very safety conscious either.
 
Albert: oh deary me Lilly I'm sorry to hear this. Beryl has got enough on making sure you and the other Hams are safe. I wonder where Beryl is going to get a piece of wood from to put over the rungs of the ladder to make it more safe for Whiskers 🤔
 
The humans have been having some very strange conversations and keep mentioning 'why fry'. They say, 'why fry is down' or 'what is the speed of why fry'. I believe this is a code and I am determined to find out what this is about. I will keep listening to their conversations until I work it out.
 
Albert: why do humans call it "hamster free roaming if they block areas off" 🐹🙄
 
Lilly: i think they don't want us to know where they keep their hoards.
 
One of the humans put a silly thing in my cage. She put tissue on some cardboard but then put seeds on the top of it. It is logical to put seeds under it but she did the opposite. I keep going underneath it and then some seeds tip out so my way is better. I will not get seeds from the top of it as this does not make sense to me.
 
Albert: I totally understand Sprite 🙄 My mum gave me a new treat puzzle the other day. You may have seen the video of me chewing the cardboard to get the treats out from the bottom of the holes. My mum put some more seeds in it yesterday and to her surprise I showed her a quicker way to get the treats out. I just tip it upsidedown and all the seeds came out. No more time wasting chewing cardboard. I don't think my mum was impressed though 😉
 
That is a much more efficient way of getting the seeds, Albert. Only a hamster could think of something so clever.
 
The humans were talking this morning and I heard them say there are kiwis in the kitchen. Now I am worried because birds eat seeds and they may try to eat my seeds. There are too many animals living here for my liking.
 
Lilly: hmm, you don't want them kiwis poking their long beaks into your seed stores.
 
The humans are keeping a grain supply to themselves. There has been a lot of talk about their grains and how the weather is affecting them. I overheard one of the humans saying 'This humidity is giving me my gains'. I cannot believe they are not sharing the grains with me. I thought we were friends.
 
Tsang Shu here. My owner keeps investigating murder cases. He lists clues, posts pictures and looks up the legal implications of cadavers in different jurisdictions. I wonder if he is planning to murder me in my sleep.
 
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One of the humans tried to take a picture of me yesterday. I struck my perfect pose and he did not even offer me a treat so I turned my back on him just when he was about to take the photo. No treats, no photos.
 
Pip: My human keeps saying "don't jump!" - all I was doing was peering over the edge of the new Win-dow.
 
倉鼠 - Sunflower seeds are my favorite. I tucked them in a burrow underneath my house. Crumbled pecans are great. I gathered them in my cheeks and hid them inside the vase. Camouflaged that nicely with paper bedding. The tiny bird seeds & quinoa I just nibbled while I galloped around my Wheel.
 
Did you know humans purposely grow seedless grapes? What have they got against seeds?
 
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